MegOP Week 2020 ♡

[quietmoon]

Megop week begins! *throws confetti* I'll come back and edit this as I publish works through the week~

Day 1: pre-war & post war

Arisen
megatron/optimus prime (tfp)
10k
“You aren’t here. You can’t be. You’re only in here.” Megatron taps a claw against his helm. “Nothing but a memory, come to haunt me at the end of all things.”
Optimus’ eyebrows draw together before he sighs, a fond smile on his face. “You always had a flare for the dramatic.”
Megatron huffs again, and lies back down. “Even as a ghost, you’re a pain in the aft.”

I finally wrote my first tf story, yay! \o/ I don't know if I'll be able to post for all (or possibly even any more) of the days, but I'm happy I got to finish this at least. ^_^ I never thought I'd end up trying to write a canon continuation fic for a show I haven't watched yet lol. God knows how the characterisation holds up. (But it was something I needed to write for myself, so even if I learn later that it's way off base, I'm fine with that.)

I have a small playlist of songs that were important while writing this story. The most important lyrics are in bold. :)

• I Have Never Loved Someone the Way I Love You: and if the sun won't shine your way, I will be the rain / and if the rain won't wash away all your aches and pains, I will find some other way to tell you you're okay / you're okay / you're okay — these are the lyrics that made me want to write a story about Optimus reaching out to Megatron to help him through something unspeakably difficult. Because at the end of the day, through it all, he does still love him, and sometimes all one can do in that position, when the reality is terrible, is tell the person one loves that they're going to be okay. And from Optimus' POV, that's what he has to do.
• I'll Be Good: my past has tasted bitter for years now, so I wield an iron fist / grace is just weakness, or so I've been told / I've been cold, I've been merciless / but the blood on my hands scares me to death / maybe I'm waking up today — I mean, I could quote this entire song and it would fit. This is the closest to the story, from Megatron's POV. I listened to it on repeat while writing (and it's very obvious because I subconsciously wrote the lyrics into the fic at one point oTL).
• Saturn: you taught me the courage of stars before you left / how light carries on endlessly, even after death — Megatron POV. Optimus got through to him. 
• That Would Be Enough: look at where you are / look at where you started / the fact that you're alive is a miracle / just stay alive, that would be enough [...] I don't pretend to know the challenges you're facing / the worlds you keep erasing and creating in your mind / but I'm not afraid, I know who I married / so long as you come home at the end of the day / that would be enough [...] let this moment be the first chapter where you decide to stay — Optimus POV. I had to stop myself from writing even more lyrics lol. It's so perfect.
• It's Quiet Uptown: there are moments that the words don't reach / there is suffering too terrible to name [...] the moments when you're in so deep, it feels easier to just swim down — There are also repeats of the lyrics from That Would Be Enough, which just... suits MegOP too perfectly. ; - ; (I know there's no replacing what we've lost, and you need time / but I'm not afraid, I know who I married / just let me stay here by your side... that would be enough *clenches fists*)
• Stay: the reason I hold on / 'cause I need this hole gone / funny you're the broken one, but I'm the only one who needed saving / 'cause when you never see the light, it's hard to know which one of us is caving [...] not really sure how to feel about it / something in the way you move makes me feel like I can't live with you [...] I want you to stay — heard this on the bus a few hours before editing the story, and it hit close to home.
• You — my favourite song. Optimus POV. I didn't write much of it because Megatron was so stuck in his head, and that meant the reader couldn't know that this was Optimus Prime from the future watching unable to speak as his most important person grappled with the unimaginable. But he so desperately wants Megatron to live; and time isn't guaranteed, it's in flux (he knows this courtesy of the Triptych Mask), so there isn't an assurance that Megatron will or anything. The entire song sums up his thoughts through all of his visits to Megatron so I can't even pick out specific lyrics. ; - ; <3

And here's some quick meta about the fic for anyone interested. I have so many thoughts still swimming about my head that I might write a sequel sometime tbh. Anyway:

• Why can Soundwave use the Triptych mask? Because I have a very convoluted and in-depth headcanon about the Aligned continuity thirteen primes and their reincarnations (which is actually very slowly being written into a coherent fic, although only God knows when that's going to see the light of day), and in that mess of fantasy and conjecture, Soundwave is Onyx Prime. And this story didn't need an immediate explanation so I just threw it in without realising until it was too late to take it out skjdgld. The Triptych Mask has three parts, so I figure it's only Farsight he puts on (although boy would I love to explore aus of this story with the other two masks. >:) Angst city lol.)
• Where did Soundwave pick up the clip of Megatron shouting "I see him!"? In Megatron's future, he gathers whatever crew of the Nemesis are willing to stick with him upon his return, and they venture into the Shadowzone to recover their Intelligence Officer. Those are the first words Soundwave hears in a very long time — Megatron shouts them without thinking the moment he sees him. :')
• What would a sequel look like? There are a few scenes I would love to explore that I really feel like are needed to balance the story out tbh. We need to see Megatron seeing Optimus again, and all that guilt slamming into him headfirst, but him sticking it out partly because he knows there's a possible happy future for them somewhere, and partly because now that he's recovered his fire for life, he's not going to cower up and deal with it half-heartedly; he's going to hunt down his justice, he's going to do right by his wrongs, and that begins with looking the Prime of his people and the mech he's arguably wronged the most straight in the eye. I want to write a scene where Bumblebee tells him he'll never forgive him, and neither should Optimus, and Megatron dealing with that while looking into the eye of the mech who's voice he stole. (More about his characterisation later.) And I think Optimus Prime needs to shout at Megatron, furious, personally hurt for all the pain this mech he loved so dearly inflicted. We've had Optimus angry on behalf of his people and his planet, but in this story idea we still need to see him angry for himself. (Also, my favourite thing in the world is angry OP, so no idea of mine is complete without throwing it in. Hehe.) Optimus needs to get angry so that Megatron can apologise. They both have a lot of talking to do (and working together to do, rebuilding trust, rebuilding everything) before the happy relationship Megatron got a glimpse of in this story can come about. I don't think Optimus would be fast to forgive (partly out of his own guilt, partly for duty, and partly because something that fractured over the period of millions of years can't get fixed just like that). Long story short: this fic explored the idea that Megatron understood why he didn't deserve forgiveness/redemption yet, and I'd like to write a sequel exploring the ways he begins to become a mech who does. He has a lot of work to do, and by the end of this story, he was ready to start, but I kinda wanna write him starting to actually do it, too.
• Stupid sequel-sequel (??) idea — so when Megatron works out exactly what's going on, and threatens Optimus Prime ("Wonderful. I’ll have your head the moment I lay optics on you.") what if, when he does first see Optimus again for the first time, he pushes him into a cupboard and sucks him off. lmao 'I'll have your head' indeed— //muted
• On Megatron's characterisation — I don't think Megatron questions himself much at all. Like, ever. So that's why it's such a reality-shakingly huge deal that he does at the end of Predacons Rising. I touched on this in the ideas of a sequel, but aah, I think the idea of Megatron facing the past isn't complete with him running away from it and then learning to accept and face it. He needs to come face to face with the pain he's inflicted, and work hard and long to fix it, and make the future better. I've been thinking a lot about redemption arcs, and how they often don't feel earned — and Megatron is so ridiculously old, Transformers are so ridiculously old, that there's a loooot of bad to make up for. But I think if anyone is able to, it's him. The reason he becomes so depressed is because he's a) very emotionally driven, with everything he does, and b) very keenly feeling all the mistakes he made and how far off the track he went. I think he ignored it for a long time, but by the end of PR, he finally gets it; and feeling the death of Optimus solidified it beyond a doubt. But he's also hopeless, and the most dramatic person to ever exist, so of course it manifests in a multi-decade sulk someplace rife with landscape symbolism. lmao. I love him so much. This idiot fire-hearted warlord.

I did not intend for this to get so long, gah! And I could easily keep going lol. Maybe I really should write a sequel at some point.

 
Day 2: domestic

the inevitable
megatron/optimus prime (tfp)
4k
Megatronus had a good day, once. Megatron remembers it distantly.

I really started struggling with coming up with ideas that I could write in time - lately everything I try to write that isn't completely impromptu is far too long to write in the span of a few days. :( 

Day 3: cultural differences

a proposition
megatron/optimus prime (tfp)
3k
“I think you’ll find my social skills are perfectly intact,” Optimus manages eventually.
Megatron's expression falls into something deadpan.

Same issue as the previous day - how do I write shortfic!? I used to be able to do it no problem! Heck, it was the only thing I wrote.

Day 4: soulmate

how to defeat a warlord
megatron/optimus prime (tfp)
2k
Megatron remembers a few vorns into the cycle that today is his nameday.

I sat down with an idea I was really excited about writing for this prompt (soulmate aus are my shit) and before I knew it the outline - and this is for someone who Does not Outline - for the first chapter was reaching 2k. It's definitely going to be longer than 15k at the rate it's going, and I don't have time to write that, ack! >:(

I put on some Lion King to calm myself and then before I knew it this fluffy scene popped into my head. I had a lot of fun writing it so I don't feel as bad as I did when I started out, sitting down to write. I have also vowed to myself that if there's another MegOP week, I'm going to try write everything in advance, real life commitments be damned lmao. I'm having a lot of fun this week getting to play around with writing, and really writing just for myself and to get back into the practice of it, but the quality of what I'm actually coming up with isn't super satisfying.

Still, I made a promise to myself at the beginning of this year to rediscover what I loved about writing, and to write for myself. It's important to keep reminding myself that the only person I have to please with my writing is myself. Nobody else is paying attention or will care if I post a story I'm proud of and then another that I'm not. *clenches fist*
 

Day 5: deity/fairy tale

deus ex machina
megatron/optimus prime (tfp)
4k
Standing before the Iaconian council, Megatronus makes his case for Primacy. However, he learns swiftly that it is not under the jurisdiction of the council to elect a Prime — they outsource that sort of thing.

As with all but Arisen for the first prompt, this fic is what came about after I sat down and realised the initial idea I had was in no way going to get written in time. (・・；) I hammered it out on the morning before a flight so I had no time to worry about coherency or reception. But it's easier to enjoy writing when one lets go of one's inhibitions, and I really like what I ended up coming up with. ♡ (I think I'll write a sequel/continuation next to expand on it, actually!)

Writing Arisen was like wringing out water, and now I'm soaking some back up with lighter projects. I actually have a doc now of a list of ideas for megop, and I'm excited to get working on so many of them. All of them would require at least a few days work, many much longer than that, but I have the time and leisure to do that, now. First a sequel for Day 5, though - there's a lot I still have to say about tfp's darker aspects, but I'm content to play around in humour fluff for a bit before getting stuck back in it~

You can tell that by the end of the week I was feeling harried because the stories get progressively fluffier through the week, and fluff is what I write when I'm in a rush/don't know what else to write lol. Writing more emotionally involved/angstier stuff brings me a lot of joy too, but fluff is fun and comparatively easier - or rather, I have to think about it less, that's all. I can't rush angst or hurt/comfort the way I can throw out fluff.

I'm so glad I decided to take the plunge and challenged myself to write for megop week. God. What a perfect way to start out the year. It got me writing again, forcing me to work to a deadline, and throw out stories without letting myself get overwhelmed with bigger ideas. I love writing longifc - all my ideas are for longfic - but I set myself a very serious resolution for this year (and really, just going forward) that I wouldn't stop myself from posting shorter works, too. It makes me no less of a writer, it isn't a waste of time, and it isn't an annoyance to readers. This week really reminded me of these things. ; u ;

I don't know how to explain it exactly. It felt like, previously, I was in a fish bowl or something - that I could occasionally leap out of the water aka write something, but spent most of my time underwater just wishing and looking outside the glass. Writing for megop week was akin to breaking the glass, with water bursting out across the floor. Does that make any sense...?

I'm full of the water imagery today. Maybe I'm thirsty lmao.

Anyway! My goals for this week were to: post at least one story (check!), get myself writing regularly-ish (check!), engage with the fandom a bit more (check-sorta? this isn't something one can just do in a week), and be okay with posting shorter stuff (again, check-sorta). Yay! <3

Next time, if the week runs again, I'd like to:
a) write something for each prompt (as I only got through five this time)
b) write at least three of the stories in advance (to avoid some of the stress posting shorter fic and pausing longer projects gives me lol), and
c) again, be okay with posting shorter things.

The most wonderful thing about events such as these are at the end, there are so many fanworks to go through at your own pace and enjoy. So many new megop fics for me to get stuck into... *u* I am extremely excited. Hopefully I'll have time later this month for it. Huhuhu~

Last but not least, one more time, happy MegOP week! Thank you endlessly to the mods, creators, and readers who were involved. And, of course, great love to the two sad lovestruck fools we congregated to celebrate. ;) I had a wonderful time and I love this ship and fandom so much.