être dans la lune

i surprised myself by absolutely devouring my libby bookshelf in january. february saw me slow down as i got distracted by other things and ended up reading lots of tabletop rpgs instead. which i suppose are still books, but i'm not counting them anyway lol. if they don't go on my goodreads they don't go in the recap. i was inspired by octahedrite to include a ✨ for particular recs. :)

( romances big and small, gut-punch memoirs, crimes, cthulhu, etc. )

all in all, an enjoyable start to the year! more updates to come in late spring. :)

All the meta I've posted, sorted by canon. (There's not much!)

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Okay, I keep jabbering about this in various conversations, I'm just gonna go ahead and do it okay here we go uhhh I'm going to host a weekly watchparty of the upcoming Transformers show airing on Netflix at the end of July. ^_^ The episodes all drop at once as they are wont to do on Netflix, but I miss the weekly format, so rather than binge-watching it all at once, I'll be watching it weekly, and invite anyone interested to join in. The more the merrier!

• Format: A weekly journal post for each episode where anyone who wants to can talk about the show, theories, reactions, etc. in their own time. The aim is to try foster the same excitement and sense of community weekly-airing shows had.
• Watching: Part 1: Siege of the upcoming Transformers: War for Cybertron Trilogy. The 6-episode animated series drops on Netflix on 30th July. Here's the trailer and the show on Netflix. It's rumoured to be a return to a darker more mature TF show; the last we had was Transformers: Prime which was hugely popular, so my fingers are crossed that this will be good, too!
• Who can participate? This is completely open to both long-term fans and those new to the franchise. You don't need to have watched or read any Transformers to understand this show, as it is a stand-alone. It might be cool for those who are vaguely interested in TF but have no idea where to start since it's so new, and is promised to be a trilogy.

This is just an interest check to see if anyone would be on board, has wanted to get into TF but doesn't know where to start, has any questions, etc. Please let me know! I think this could be really fun if even maybe three or four people would be down to join me ^_^ I initially was going to just liveblog this for myself but then I thought "What if... friends?" so!! Yeah, let me know! :D *rubs hands together* I'm so excited, please someone come be excited about alien robots with me.

I realise 30th July is still a fair bit away, and I might try throw up something for a movie or such in the interim (and I would love after it to continue with some other TF shows if there's any interest in it *coughs* G1 *coughs* TFP) but I wanted to make sure to give people ample warning. Baby steps.


And then some more general fannish things: sunshine_challenge is on the horizon; juletide nominations are open; the OTW made a statement about its role in fandom regarding racism; the wipbigbang is on it's second round of art claims; and fandomgiftbox is officially live!

More simply general things: I've been enjoying Older by Ben Platt (his vocals are gorgeous), A Better Son/Daughter by Rilo Kiley (which hit me right in the heart), and Bayou by Mountains of the Moon (which not only stabbed me in the heart but also made me think of megop in the process); I've revisited my old inspiration tumblr moonflours and I think there's a lot of lovely stuff on there; Skill Up's review of The Last of Us 2, unfortunately, lined up almost exactly with my own thoughts on the game (specifically the phrase 'suffering porn'); and this Britney Spears Megamix was fantastic.

The world is frightening right now. A lot of shitty stuff is happening and has been going on for a very long time, and the people in charge keep disappointing us or worse. It's important to let the good into our lives and have some time in the spotlight too, now more than ever. That's what I think, anyway. Sending you all good vibes and hugs. ♥

I see two main themes in FMA: desire, and death. Through different characters' journeys, motivations, and eventual fates, it explores these themes from a bunch of different viewpoints. I think it takes quite a pessimistic stance, having a fair bit to say about the inevitability of tragedy in human desire, but we'll get to that. The main discussions of theme don't include the ending in Conqueror of Shamballa, but I'll touch on that at the end. (ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡ ｡ﾟ･

( spoilers for the whole thing. like, so many spoilers. All The Spoilers. )

*clasps hands* I have finally gotten to the end of my reading page. I wish it went on past the last two weeks, since I know I've missed a lot even before then, but maybe it's a blessing in disguise lol. At least now I can say I'm relatively caught up.

Calling all BIPOC — goss 
But over the years, many BIPOC have left these platforms or Fandom altogether. And I really miss having those kinds of interactions, and hearing these particular voices.
I'm curious about how many of us are out here still, whether actively posting on DW or simply lurking. Maybe you are wondering too! So I am putting up this poll, in the hopes of reaching out to and connecting with as many BIPOC fans here on DW as possible.

• sunshine_challenge is starting on 1st July! It's no secret that I love this challenge and it's chilly sibling, and I'm excited to participate and maybe make some friends next month! (Maybe I'll even participate during the actual event for once. Who knows.) If you want to hit the ground running, the comm has a post on journal housekeeping with a neat little checklist up right now.
• indie_games has opened! I am beyond excited to see some video game chat happening on here! I have my old personal gaming comm but it's been due an overhaul for ages. I might scrap it all together and throw all my gaming stuff on here or, now that indie-games exists, there! If you got the Itch bundle this comm might be of particular interest to you, as the games from there are the focus right now.
• hc_bingo sign-ups for Round 11 are open! I haven't participated before, but the deadline is generous (up to January, with amnesty extending into June) and I did tweet the other day about taking a break from my longer projects and taking a stab at a prompt list to fight writing nerves. *rubs chin*
• fandomgiftbox sign-ups close on 21st June. Looks very fun ♥
• A Femslash Creating Fest is running on elasticella's journal until 22nd September, with the possibility of continuing after. I wasn't initially thinking I'd participate, but then I saw this keyleth/raishan prompt, and my mind completely ran away with me... I'll try, at least!
• recthething: This is a comm for reccing fanworks you love and requesting recs for fanworks you're looking for. This looks to be a more general reccing comm as compared to the specific/themed ones I've seen so far. Definitely of interest to me.
• fffc is running a 100 Prompt Challenge with lots of different tables. The 'weird ao3 tags' table in particular caught me eye lmao.

For those also participating in getyourwordsout, reminder that the deadline to change pledges is 23rd June. After pledging unrealistically high the past few years, I decided to go with 150k for this year, and the way things are turning out, I'm considering moving a step down from that too to 75k. xD I'm not wholly decided yet but I'm thinking about it.

I wanna talk about writing fic — specifically, about the challenges I face when trying to.

I've mentioned before about taking a long break from both fandom and writing. I bunch those two together because for me, especially in the circumstances directly preceding said break, those were inextricably intertwined. But this post isn't to talk about the break itself (even though I definitely will have more to say on it at some point); I've recently started trying to write fic regularly, and my god, it's hard. I've broken some of the problems I've come across down into conveniently organised headings:

( Sprinting a Marathon )

( Sprinting a Hike )

( Backseat Drivers )

( Writing Right )

But I'm trying to write. And I'm going to continue trying.

My solution to all of these are as follows: write more, post more, and do it all (as much as you can) for yourself. Don't think of the final result: think of now, and of the story being told, and the satisfaction that brings. Because you love writing. You are a writer — there are no other qualifiers to this label other than to simply write. So do that. Write. Let yourself write that long first chapter all about backstory that you're afraid people didn't click to read. Take all the words and the time you need to write the story you want to write. Nobody can write that fic but you; so at least let it be your own, before it is somebody else's.
 
And every time the worry rears up — right now, at the beginning, middle, and end of every sentence — I'll come back and read that paragraph, and remind myself of what really matters. And hopefully, doing it often enough for long enough will help it set in as a habit to overwrite the old painful ones. Practice makes permanent. 

I only have 3 stories in BNHA, so I feel a bit silly for making a masterlist for it... but nonetheless, here we are. I'll probably post more fic for this fandom at some point, so we shall see if I can't pad this list out a little. （￣︶￣；）

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Aw yis, my favourite type of prompt 8) Here are a few things I have loved recently.

In Defence of Amy and Laurie • Little Women (2019) • Meta (Video Essay)
I love this channel! It has a lot of thoughtful video essays that don't take two hours out of your day. This movie hit me hard (my friend kept laughing at me for gasping and crying too loudly in the cinema) and the book is firmly situated in my childhood, so to see people — especially those who don't hold the same nostalgia for it that I do — appreciate and think critically about the movie makes me happy. Amy is also my favourite character in the film, so meta about her is right up my alley. If you've seen the movie, I'd say this is a worthwhile watch for sure.

The Whole Plate: Film Studies through a Lens of Transformers • Transformers (Bayverse) • Meta (Video Essay)
If you've ever been curious about movies — directing, script-writing, analysis — this is a really good watch. It explores, through the absurdity that was the Michael Bay Transformers adaptations, various film study basics like critical theory, representation, and videography. You don't have to be a fan of Transformers (or have watched all of Bayverse) to appreciate this series. It's educational, and interesting, and also very validating/satisfying if you are a TF fan. Lindsey Ellis is a general recommendation from me because I love her stuff, but this is in particular, I think, is not something to be missed.

This viva la revolution art is my phone background • Transformers: Prime x IDW2005 • Art (MegOP)
I can't even put into words how much I love this art. TFP Megatron and IDW1 Optimus both fit very specifically into a niche Type of mine (giant angry buff idiot) and the idea of them meeting up and going absolutely fucking mental is the funniest thing to me. They would validate and encourage each other's worst habits. They'd be such besties, spreading chaos and carnage all in the name for their vision, I can't even— I love it so goddamn much. It's horrifying and hilarious and tailor-made to my tastes. (This artist's other works are also phenomonal, btw! For example, check out their human!Megatron. *swoons*)

Paragon • Transformers • Fic (MegOP, 7k)
Oh man, this made me feel things. The tension is thick enough to cut with a knife, the characterisation is subtle, the pace controlled, and the writing has such a beautiful melancholy quality. Megatron as an unreliable narrator feeling all the things and trying to convince himself that he has never felt a single feeling in his life is *chefs kiss* Very Good. It's the kind of story that the second I finished reading, I immediately wanted to write fic for it.

These Games We Play • Transformers • Fic (JazzWave, 321k)
It was the characterisation in this that led me from being a fond fan to dedicatedly obsessed with this rarepair. The setting is wholly bleak, and I don't usually read angst of this sort, but I'm so glad I did this time. I recommend this cautiously, because there's a lot here that might frighten people off, but if you are someone who can enjoy the darker themes, wow — you will not find better. It is masterfully written, with so much heart and thought put into the characters and their slow burning relationship (and trust me, it is the most smouldering and delicious of slow burns) that once you've read it once, you never really stop thinking about it. ♥w♥ This story is up there with my all-time favourites ever.

On the Knees of my Heart • A Song of Ice and Fire • Fic (JonAerys, 4.5k)
This self-contained Dany/Jon story from 2012 is very fulfilling for any fans of the ship who feel burned by the finale that will not be discussed further. And for those who don't care, it's a beautifully written melancholy-tinged piece about war, pining, leadership, and integrity. I love the dynamic as it's written here; there's such a distinct atmosphere and flavour to it all.

Every time I make a rec list, I look at all the stories that I want to recommend and am reminded that this is something I'd like to do more often. lol