Snowflake Challenge: Day 9

[quietmoon]

Day 9: Commit an Act of Kindness. In your own space, share what you’ve done, talk about what you’ve done, or simply leave a comment in this post saying you did it. 

I don't know if this would count as a selfless act of kindness necessarily... But something I've always wanted to do but find difficult is reply to the comments people leave on my fic. I want them to know that I read them, often multiple times through, and I appreciate it a lot even if I'm bad at immediately showing it. I still struggle to overcome some of the hangups and shyness that keeps me from participating in fannish activities, but I think responding to the comments is a good way to start. So I'll be doing that today — or at least starting it.

I know most people, me included, would see today's challenge and be more inclined to leave comments for other people than reply to ones I received. But I am generally in the habit on leaving comments on most fic I read and resonate with already, and I only like doing it when I feel comfortable enough to. So instead of pushing myself to do something that to me would feel awkward out of the right moment, I'll try stepping out of my comfort zone and letting the people who kindly let me know they enjoyed my writing that I appreciate them.

(Ahgh, why is it so hard...!)

Comments

[oldtoadwoman]

Excellent! I know that just occasionally I've been about to leave a comment on AO3 and then I notice that the author never replied to any of the comments or they only replied to the first few but haven't replied to any comments left in the last year or so, and I kind of assume that the author must have left the fandom or turned off comment notifications or something and then I'll get lazy and not leave a comment (why stress over how to phrase a comment if they probably aren't reading their comments anyway?), so I think it's great that you're tackling replies. (And I'm trying to remind myself to go ahead and leave a comment anyway even if it's just a short "♥ loved it!" because I shouldn't make assumptions about who is or isn't reading their comments.)

I wonder how many times I've let a real-life friendship drift away because I think I'm being a bother if I'm the one to call or text or email and the number of online friendships that I've let slip through my fingers is probably a hundred times more.

[quietmoon]

I still have so many to go since posting this to be honest. Replying to comments, for some reason, takes a lot out of me — a lot of time, energy, thought, and care. I get stressed by the idea that my reply will be lackluster and somehow ruin the reader's enjoyment, or that they'll get annoyed that I'm replying so late at all.

Still, I made up my mind to do it, so I'll continue to keep trying, even if I'm replying at a snail's pace lol.

I understand exactly what you mean about not commenting in the first place because of situations like that, I 100% do the same, especially if it's for a fandom I'm more prone to lurk in. I sort of learned the habit of passively consuming fanworks and now I'm trying to break that habit, but it's a hard one to curb because the alternative — just staying silent, or clicking a little like/kudos button — is so much easier.

Ahh... I feel that. The worry that I'm bothering someone, or the fear of rejection, that they don't want me to talk to them, is sometimes enough to keep me from saying anything at all. orz

[oldtoadwoman]

Sometimes I'll have a reply several paragraphs long typed and then my brain goes, "No one cares," and I'll erase it all. (That's more of a discussion thing than a commenting-on-fic thing.)

With fic, it's kind of interesting how different fandom are about commenting.

I wrote a funny Hulk story (post-Ragnarok) with only 348 hits, but it got 44 kudos and 29 comment threads (granted a lot of those were the same people commenting in separate chapters). Meanwhile, I wrote a House MD story with more than twice as many hits with 61 kudos, but only 6 comment threads and a Big Bang Theory fic with 2383 hits and 163 kudos but only 11 comment threads. My theory is that the more mainstream the show, the less likely people are to comment. Meanwhile, I've found myself writing more Supernatural because that fandom comments a lot. (One of the best things I think I've written was an obscure fandom where I got 80 hits and 4 kudos and the only comments were from my proofreaders who had already read it before I posted it.)

[quietmoon]

a relatable feeling :( i hope in most situations you do end up finding a chance to reach out to them!

that's really interesting actually! i wonder if that's not because bigger fandoms have more content, and (as we discussed somewhere else) there's a weird pressure to consume All The Things ASAP so fans sort of rush from one to the other -- as well as there readily being so much content available that it gets undervalued in readers' minds. it's too easy to forget that the person behind any given fic is probably just as invested as you, just as human and approachable as anyone else, especially if there's so much faceless fic abound.

i've never written for spn but it's good to hear people are generally happy to comment there! what was the obscure fandom/fic, if you don't mind my asking?

[oldtoadwoman]

The 4400. It's Marco/Diana (the first het story I ever wrote) and also a casefic. I'm super proud of it because it's actually a coherent novel-length story and I worked hard to make it readable even if you weren't into the show and… 4 kudos. (Which is better than a Dexter story that I wrote that still has zero kudos.)

My latest obsession is making book covers, so here they are:



Meanwhile, most of my Supernatural slash has over a hundred comment threads and two of those broke 1,000 kudos (which doesn't even count as very popular in that fandom). My least popular SPN story only has 5 comments and 43 kudos, but that was a story with Jimmy and Castiel sorting things out and didn't even have Dean or Sam in it. So when I say the SPN stuff is popular, it's mainly the shippy stuff. (I cringe when I look at my own comments, because I was so whiney about no one reading that story. I need to learn to just write for me and stop worry about whether or not someone else is into it or not.)

[quietmoon]

omg very cool :D

i'm sorry about the 4 kudos, it must have been frustrating. *hugs* i wish there were more ways for fic from smaller fandoms to get seen by people who, although not actively searching for it, would be interested in reading it if they just knew it existed. sigh